Results tagged “Sony” from Rendered Speechless

It never fails: Once you finally give up on something, suddenly it taps you on the shoulder and demands your attention. While I was in Denver last weekend a recruiter from Dreamworks called. She called the old cell phone which the ex-boyfriend hadn't canceled yet. I guess that was lucky. We finally caught up with each other this week and I have to say, while it was nice to be considered, I wasn't exactly thrilled with what I heard.

It's a better deal than Sony because they hire people for about 2 to 2 1/2 years at a time. That's still a contract and it still has an end. I don't like that.

It's in Los Angeles. I don't like that either. Actually the fact that it's in California at all isn't its biggest selling point right now. It doesn't matter how bad their economy gets, I'll still have to sell more than half my stuff before I can afford to live there.

But ultimately it came down to timing. I have committed the next 12 weeks to my current employer and Dreamworks is bringing people in over the next three to four weeks.

Oh well.

But even if it were a permanent, well-paid position, there's something that's been bugging me about this industry ever since I went to SIGGRAPH and started to see how it really works. Dreamworks is recruiting for a lighting TA position, which is good because it's not a night shift render wrangler. It's a step above and it has a clear career path. The problem is the career path itself, actually ANY career path in the industry these days. It has become so incredibly specialized that it no longer has a soul. A person can spend 96 hours watching an animated curtain open and close until it looks just right. Because that's what that animator does--animate fabric. A lighter can light the same scene a hundred times until it looks right. And then the next thing she does is light another scene. And another, and another. It's become an assembly line, monotonous and exhausting. And I have a problem with that.

I discovered when I was in the Viz Lab that above all things, I'm an artist. An artist loves the process as much as the result, often the ENTIRE process, not just one little piece of it. An artist has a voice--her work has something specific and meaningful to say, and she lives to make her point, if only to herself. And an artist has to say it no matter what. It's a compulsion, maybe even a mandate from the universe that she should send her thoughts and beliefs into the world. Now take that artist and tell her that her job is to dip the number 2 sable brush into the cerulean blue paint and hand it to someone else. And when she's done with that, dip another number 2 sable brush into the cerulean blue paint and hand that to someone else. And so on and so on and so on. Before you know it, that artist's spirit has been crushed by a detailed job description, her voice silenced by boredom and exhaustion. She ceases to be an artist anymore.

That can't be me.

I don't want to go make something red or blue, I have entire ideas that need to be realized. I don't know when they will be realized, probably not in the next 12 weeks because I'm on a ridiculous project schedule until then. But after that, when I start to have a life after five, I'm going to set a few things in motion. I wish I didn't have to wait, but the good news is that the house is finally clean, half my leaves are bagged up and I have a job for the next 12 weeks. As long as I can eat and pay the rent, I can wait. What happens after that remains to be seen. I'm not worried though. Things are finally working in my life and I don't see that changing any time soon.

So screw California. I want to buy a house. And I won't be giving my keys to some untrustworthy boyfriend this time, only to have them withheld later out of spite. But that's another story.

So the still life has been put off due to illness. The day after I set it up, I caught a cold. I spent this past weekend making up sick time that I took during the week. I've just gotten over it and now I'm faced with the holidays and a desperate need to clean my house. The good news though is that I'll have Thanksgiving to myself (eating turkey with Dad a week early), which gives me four solid days to crank out some new work. My mom is sending me some creepy dolls she picked up while antiquing in Kansas and that should give me more than four days of painting (and lighting) material. Apparently one is a dummy that looks like Chucky. I also picked up a book last night on lighting for photography, just to refresh myself on the basics and maybe pick up one or two new ideas.

So I've covered the suffering part. What does the silence refer to? ILM, that's what. And frankly it also refers to some of the suffering. I'm not even hearing crickets from them right now. I sent two messages last week and no response to either. I really hope if I'm no longer in the running that they'll just say so. Until they say anything, however, they will continue to hear from me.

On another note, apparently I'm not completely unemployable... I was offered a job by Sony last week. I ended up turning it down. And it wasn't because I was confident I'd get an offer from ILM; quite the contrary. Given how I felt about my interview performance, and the deafening silence from them since, I have yet to be confident about that. It was mainly because they only hire for the length of the production and I just can't see selling 2/3 of my stuff and moving all the way out there to be out of a low-paying job in a year. Now chances are I could successfully campaign to get on the next production, but who wants that kind of stress? I would much rather spend my energy doing my job to the best of my abilities rather than worrying about how long I'll be able to keep it.

I used the situation to nudge ILM to at least let me know if I was still in the running. Not a word. I wrote them again after I turned down the job, and explained that I am also in a better position to wait for the ideal job now because my contract at Collin County will likely be extended another couple of months (true--I found out the day after I got the offer). Still no response. I really hope they're just busy and that they're not the type of people to hold your future in their hands, make a decision to drop it and then just walk away without a word. I've dealt with that before. It's extremely disrespectful. And it goes against every fiber of my being to not communicate, to not even say, "I got your message, I'm really busy but I'll get back to you soon." I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt for now though. If they're really recruiting like crazy, then they're busy like crazy. I'll send them a nice Happy Thanksgiving message on Monday and hope for the best, at least until I find out that all hope is lost.

Seriously, I'm a big girl. I can take "no" for an answer. What I can't take is no answer for an answer.

It sounds like I'm talking about programming but I'm not. "Code share" is when two different airlines share a flight code, so that while your Travelocity printout might say you're leaving Vegas on US Airways flight 7054, you're really leaving on United flight 1553. Now how do you, as a passenger, know this? You don't. That's my point. My luggage knew it, but the US Airways agent didn't. She had never heard of flight 7054, but when she typed it into her computer, it came up as United 1553. I never saw anyone look so surprised as she did when she typed that in and actually got something back. But I still had to go all the way out to the ticket counter and get a boarding pass from a United agent, then go back through security to a totally different terminal than where I had come from. I got there just in time to board. And the irony is that according to my baggage claim ticket, my luggage knew where it was going all along. I should have just ridden in the suitcase.

In retrospect, I probably could have just gone to the United gate and gotten a boarding pass there. But no one could tell me where that gate was except the ticket agent. Not sure why. Even the monitors didn't show the United flight, and that's because it was in another terminal. So I took the long way but at least I got here.

So I think my interview today went well. It was a group situation where you sit at a conference table and your future peers throw interview-like questions at you. I haven't had one like that before but I've certainly heard of them. Intimidating? Yes. But it also gave me a chance to give some really good answers that show the breadth of my experience and what I've learned from it all. It wasn't perfect, but no interview is. You always come out of there thinking, why did I say that? Or, why didn't I say this? But it was good practice even if nothing else comes out of it. And I got to see a real studio.

Speaking of practice, I seem to have gotten two interviews for the price of one. Before I closed up the laptop yesterday and packed it, I checked my email. There was a note from a recruiter at ILM who wanted to schedule a time to talk. So I chatted with her this morning about a position very similar to what I interviewed for at Sony. I like her approach: She told me what it paid and what the shift was right up front. I always thought it was way better to know that stuff in the beginning because it sucks to go through a long, drawn out interview process, especially where travel's involved, only to find out at the end that you can't afford to do it. It's not a perfect salary but it's about what I expected and tomorrow I'll be contacted by someone who will schedule me for a phone interview with the render support department head. That will probably happen sometime next week.

Despite how broke I am nowadays, I hope I get to go to San Francisco for an interview. I would really like to compare cities and have a real choice before I have to make a decision. And besides, someone has to be holding Citibank up, so it might as well be me. How else do you think they could afford to take over Wachovia last week?

I know it's been a long time since I've posted anything. The biggest reason is because of a missing module on my web server and an annoying licensing issue with Adobe. Movable Type will set up your image thumbnails for you if you have a certain module installed on your web server, which I don't. That means every time I do a post, I have to download the newly-updated html, add the thumbnail links by hand, and then reupload it so you can see the neat little images on the right side of the page. Well, I own one copy of CS3 and the activated license is on the desktop computer where I use it the most. I use Dreamweaver to update the links quickly with a code snippet. I want to do that on my laptop as well. But when I get in bed at night and decide I want to post something, I don't want to get back out of bed, boot up the desktop, deactivate the software, power it down, get back in bed, power up the laptop, activate the software and then do the post. And then remember to deactivate it again in case the next computer I use just happens to be the desktop. Lazy? Perhaps. But I'm more inclined to call Adobe greedy. Adobe used to let you install in two places--provided that you don't use them at the same time--without jumping through hoops to get it to work. This weekend I reread the licensing agreement and found that I'm technically still allowed to do this, but I have to actually contact Adobe to get it to work. Needless to say I haven't blocked out half a day for that phone call yet. So tonight I'll do the post and if I'm feeling particularly ambitious I'll add the links back in by hand, but if you see broken image links tomorrow, at least you'll know why.

So despite my shell scripting class being cancelled (apparently I was the only one who signed up for it), I tackled the Sony test and passed. I have an interview on October 2. I'm flying to LA on the first and back on the third... I wanted to come back on the second but I couldn't get a flight late enough to ensure I wouldn't be cutting the interview short. Sony informed me that they don't have an actual position open right now but they interview constantly for when one comes up, which usually happens rather quickly. That's fine with me. Really, it is. I look forward to finally seeing a real studio in action without having to worry about making a quick, life-altering decision in just under two weeks from now. It really takes the pressure off. Of course after I see the place and meet the people I might feel more relaxed anyway. I'll know when I find the right thing.

And yet with the pressure of that interview off, there's still plenty of pressure to be had. On Friday I agreed to do a freelance web project in my spare time. Spare??? I really like the people I'll be working for, but as usually happens when I take on a freelance job, I became immediately paralyzed with stress and was completely unproductive and resentful for the entire weekend. Sometimes it only takes one more thing and I freeze under the weight of it all. I am at an age where my free time is important to me, but I also owe a ton of money from my trip to LA and will continue to owe money as long as I keep flying to California for interviews. And then there's the whole possibility of actually moving there, which will take the most money by far. It makes sense for me to do this, and I know it's something I can do and do well. And yet it pisses me off that I need to. There are other things I want to do, like paint, write another novel in November like I did last year (check out NANOWRIMO), plan out my next festival piece, work on some images showing a creative use of light. It's all running around in my head at all times, dying to get out and become real. But I guess I had already written that stuff off anyway until the rest of my life gets settled. I still have a lot of learning left to do (Python) and this year is disappearing fast. And now I have a second job on top of it all.

So I put Python on hold for the Sony test and now I'm back on it, or at least I'm trying to be. I finally had the brilliant idea today to assign myself an actual project that would throw me in head first and really teach me something. So I contacted a (new) friend at ILM who used to have the position I would like to get, and asked him what kind of project would be relevant to the job and get me going in the language. He gave me a doozy, two in fact. Perfect. I like it when I have no idea how to start. Because by the time I'm done I can usually do just about anything. Wish I had thought of this last week, I could have worked on it all weekend. But I guess I wasn't in the right frame of mind anyway. Sometimes I guess you just need to power down for a while and get some perspective. And sleep.

Now that I have my assignment, I want it done already. Because it showed me just how far I have to go and how little time I have left to do it. It's the Sony test all over again, except no one will be grading this. I just want to be able to talk about the language like I actually know something, should I get the chance. And I think I will. In fact, I think it will be soon, which is freaking me out.

I need a week off.

It's been a while since I've posted anything but I've still been busy behind the scenes. I rendered the missing frames from the hippo animation and edited the whole thing together just like the original, and posted it under a separate link on the site. I'm also tackling the more technical end of things. I came home from SIGGRAPH with four new books, the two most important ones (right now) being on MEL scripting and Python. I got through most of the MEL book (easy stuff) and then decided I needed to go straight to Python (a much bigger book). I also signed up for a class on shell scripting that's being held this coming weekend. I can get around in Linux just fine--used to do a good bit of development there--but some of those old Unix commands are hiding in the dark recesses of my memory. So this coming weekend I'll be tackling shell scripting from 8 to 5 on Saturday and 1 to 5 on Sunday. And depending on how that class goes, I might even sign up for the advanced class being held the very next weekend. But we'll see.

I left resumes and reels all over the job fair. For those who wouldn't take reels, or who I didn't get to talk to for whatever reason, I sent emails a little over a week ago. I sent emails to some I had talked to as well, just to follow up. The waiting game has definitely begun, and luckily I have plenty of learning (and relearning) to do in the meantime. But then last Friday I got an email from Sony Imageworks. They reviewed my resume and wanted to know if I was interested in an interview. Sure! So they sent me a test to evaluate some of the skills I would need as an employee, and if I do well I'll get an interview. I'm not at liberty to discuss what is on the test, but let's just say it definitely confirmed that taking this shell scripting class is a good idea! I've already tackled most of the test but I'm not totally comfortable with all of it, so I asked if I could delay sending in my answers until after I take the class. I almost didn't expect to be able to, because you're supposed to be able to turn things around quickly in the real world. But they said yes, take the time you need. I'm glad I have the chance to send in my best work and not rush through it. I do need practice with this stuff, I already knew that. Now I know just how much. So I'll stay busy for a while for sure.

So as the calls and emails continue to pour in over the next few months (I'm being funny there), I'm not going to go into my specific opinions on the different companies or people I talk to. I have my preferences right now, I know where I would like to go and what I would like to do, but I'm going to keep that to myself. You never know how your opinions might change when you meet new people, see new situations and have some real interviews. You also never know how your comments will be interpreted by potential employers. So until I have an actual job offer in hand, I'm sticking with the facts and saving the editorial for another time, and maybe even another place. I will say though that I haven't met anyone in this business that I don't have a high opinion of or at least didn't enjoy talking to at the show. The future looks bright. And my cell phone is now on me at all times.

It's not just about the new people I've met though. CG is a much smaller world than you would think, and I ran into plenty of old friends as well. Someone once asked me if I had any friends that would go out on a limb to help me get a job somewhere. The answer is an unequivocal yes. In fact, that's how I got my job at Multigen, and there's a good chance that's how I'm going to land the next job too. At least if everything works out the way I would like. But that is a mystery to be revealed at a later time.