I've never been so tired. And I'm starting to sleep a little more regularly now but suddenly I can sleep pretty much anywhere, anytime. For instance, I fell asleep on the plane. I don't do that, I can't sleep sitting up. I've never been able to do it in my entire life. Tonight I fell asleep on the couch for over two hours and I'm actually ready to go to sleep again. You know how sometimes just as you're falling asleep you jump and it wakes you up? I actually did that while I was watching TV with my eyes open and everything. I was falling asleep so fast I didn't even know it. I really want to get on a more normal schedule and start feeling better. I just can't do months of all-nighters like I used to.
It's easy to sleep these days but hard to relax. I need some ideas for 2D work that will show off some creative lighting and I'm impatient. Right now my reel only shows realistic lighting and you can't tell by looking at it that I can do anything but copy the real world. I want to start with 2D work and then maybe duplicate it in 3D while I'm waiting for that job to come along... I'll add to my reel as I can and just keep working until it gets me where I want to go. But I can't help wanting it done right now so I can keep my name in the minds of those I met in LA. I don't want to disappear for six months and then try to reconnect with everyone; however, if that's the way it has to be to get the quality I'm after, then so be it. The fact that my current gig is over at the end of the year is another issue I'll have to tackle later.
I don't feel like the same person I was before I went to LA. I guess I went out there and saw what I had been missing all these years, what I had given up to stay in Texas. Things are good out there, people are hiring. I heard nothing about contract work or layoffs after the movies were completed like I was hearing six years ago. Business is booming out there. And my friends are out there. Last week I finally felt like I was right where I belonged, probably for the first time in years, instead of trying to fit in like a square peg in a round hole. I'm going to get some sleep, get some good ideas and keep working. And keep an open mind about the future.
I already have some vague images in my mind that I might work with, but I need some time and space to let them develop into concrete ideas. My dad is coming to visit this weekend and we're going to hit the museums in Ft. Worth. Maybe all that painted light will spark something I can use. And I still need to fix the problems with the bug and the hippo. I guess I'll do that first when I can bring myself to clean up the office and actually open Maya again. Right now it sounds a little painful, but I have a feeling once I open it and start working I'll feel right at home.
It's easy to sleep these days but hard to relax. I need some ideas for 2D work that will show off some creative lighting and I'm impatient. Right now my reel only shows realistic lighting and you can't tell by looking at it that I can do anything but copy the real world. I want to start with 2D work and then maybe duplicate it in 3D while I'm waiting for that job to come along... I'll add to my reel as I can and just keep working until it gets me where I want to go. But I can't help wanting it done right now so I can keep my name in the minds of those I met in LA. I don't want to disappear for six months and then try to reconnect with everyone; however, if that's the way it has to be to get the quality I'm after, then so be it. The fact that my current gig is over at the end of the year is another issue I'll have to tackle later.
I don't feel like the same person I was before I went to LA. I guess I went out there and saw what I had been missing all these years, what I had given up to stay in Texas. Things are good out there, people are hiring. I heard nothing about contract work or layoffs after the movies were completed like I was hearing six years ago. Business is booming out there. And my friends are out there. Last week I finally felt like I was right where I belonged, probably for the first time in years, instead of trying to fit in like a square peg in a round hole. I'm going to get some sleep, get some good ideas and keep working. And keep an open mind about the future.
I already have some vague images in my mind that I might work with, but I need some time and space to let them develop into concrete ideas. My dad is coming to visit this weekend and we're going to hit the museums in Ft. Worth. Maybe all that painted light will spark something I can use. And I still need to fix the problems with the bug and the hippo. I guess I'll do that first when I can bring myself to clean up the office and actually open Maya again. Right now it sounds a little painful, but I have a feeling once I open it and start working I'll feel right at home.
