I always hated the last day of SIGGRAPH. It's such a let down when everything is over, there's nothing more to see or do, your friends start flying home and you don't have any job offers. None of this is a surprise to me, and I guess it's worse this time around because I was actually here for more than just fun. But I had no illusions about the quality of my reel when I got here. I didn't expect a miracle, I just knew I needed to get my name out there, meet people and show them what I have. So the next time they hear from me they'll say oh, I remember her... and of course SIGGRAPH is never the end of the process, it's only the beginning. They take all the reels home and look at them and call in a couple of weeks if they're interested. But the last day is still a bummer. It's like the day after Christmas. All the presents have been opened and there are no more surprises. There's just no way around it.
I'll bet they go through the same thing at the Olympics. It's been really interesting to go to the hotel room at night and turn on the games, watching swimming or gymnastics and seeing that for all of us, no matter how hard you work, there's always an element of luck involved. SIGGRAPH is its own Olympics in a way, a mecca for intellectual and artistic overachievers rather than athletic ones. You work and work for months, even years, and you get your animation in or you don't. You get a job offer or you don't. You never know for sure if your effort will be rewarded, and no matter how much sleep you lose or how rejected you feel or even how successful you might have been, when you go home you start all over again. You have no choice. It's what keeps you alive.
I really have little to be disappointed about. I've been out of this world for six years and just jumped back into it four months ago. I met people who were genuinely interested in hiring me, even if it's as a pipeline programmer. And a couple of small miracles happened yesterday as well. I went to a round table discussion on lighting that included the lighting lead on Wall-E and a guy from Dreamworks, among others. The Pixar guy gave the best, most informative presentation of all of them and it was like the light bulb came on for me (no pun intended) in so many areas I didn't really understand before. I had a flash of inspiration and thought, I should go down there and talk to him when this is over. Then I thought, I probably won't do it. I'm a relatively shy person and I often have big ideas like this that when confronted with the opportunity, evaporate inside my own fear of looking stupid. And yet when the talk was over, I found myself going down the stairs to the front while everyone else was going up and out the door, and before I knew it I was talking to the guy.
I introduced myself and told him that I wanted to be a lighting TD more than anything. And I thanked him for his presentation because it was the best information I had gotten in or out of school about how they do things in the real world. He seemed to appreciate that, saying he was afraid he had been rambling too much. No way. In fact, he had said that on demo reels they like to see a lot of personal work, and they like to see that you can light something, even if it's in a photo or a painting. I told him that was really encouraging to hear because since I'm not in the industry, personal work is all I have, and I even threw some photos on my site the other day when Keith had mentioned the same thing. I told him that I had a backpack full of reels knowing full well that they represent a work in progress and as a result of his talk, I knew what my next steps had to be. He encouraged me to apply and send in my stuff, and so I offered him my card and he took it, checking to make sure my URL was on there. Given where my work stands right now I don't expect anything beyond that, but it was a small personal triumph. And he was a really nice guy. A lot of people have been talking here about Pixar's "elitist" attitude, how it stinks that they're not taking reels, etc. I didn't get that feeling at all from him. Not at all. As usual, it all depends on who you talk to.
Last night SIGGRAPH had their welcome reception at Dodger Stadium where we got tons of free food and watched the Dodgers play the Phillies. I've never been a baseball fan, in fact I always thought it was slow and boring. But I think after last night I understand it a little better. At least from my point of view, it's less about the game and more about the comradery among audience members. I think we were all bored. And after a while, someone started the wave and it went around three times. That felt like an accomplishment. A ball flew into our stands and someone caught it. During the 7th inning stretch everyone stood up and sang Take Me Out to the Ball Game. And there's a real person there playing a real organ! After a while it was just really cool. I took some shots on my camera phone. Maybe I can find a way to get them off there soon.
But I digress a bit. Because last night at the game I saw someone I hadn't seen in a long time. His name is David and I used to work with him at Multigen until he quit and went to Link in Arlington. As far as I knew he was still there, until Margaret started asking him if he knew people from the lab... this person, that person... I couldn't figure out why she was asking that until I looked at his badge. He's working at ILM and has been for a year and a half! And he gave me his card and said that I should go to their web site and if I see a job I like, let him know because recommendations from employees are taken very seriously over there. Wow. That's definitely on my to do list now. And the interesting thing is, my reel shows more realistic than creative lighting, which is more of an ILM skill than a Pixar skill. I may have more of a Pixar personality but I can do that kind of stuff on my own time. Seriously, who would complain about having to work on Star Wars? Not me.
So despite being a bit down today I have a pretty clear path ahead of me, even if it is a long one. I have a few online applications to make and some changes to my existing reel (basically fixing problems that shouldn't have happened in the first place). I need to do some artistic projects, paintings or otherwise, that show a very creative use of light. Then I need to start on the next project. I don't know what it is yet but I have time to think it through this time. It may be that 617 project I never finished, because I do really like the story. Or it may be something new. I don't know yet. All I know is I'm over the potato. It was a great way to learn Maya again but I can do much better than that. As I see it, I have three hours tomorrow on the plane to figure it out. And then I'm off and running again.
I'll bet they go through the same thing at the Olympics. It's been really interesting to go to the hotel room at night and turn on the games, watching swimming or gymnastics and seeing that for all of us, no matter how hard you work, there's always an element of luck involved. SIGGRAPH is its own Olympics in a way, a mecca for intellectual and artistic overachievers rather than athletic ones. You work and work for months, even years, and you get your animation in or you don't. You get a job offer or you don't. You never know for sure if your effort will be rewarded, and no matter how much sleep you lose or how rejected you feel or even how successful you might have been, when you go home you start all over again. You have no choice. It's what keeps you alive.
I really have little to be disappointed about. I've been out of this world for six years and just jumped back into it four months ago. I met people who were genuinely interested in hiring me, even if it's as a pipeline programmer. And a couple of small miracles happened yesterday as well. I went to a round table discussion on lighting that included the lighting lead on Wall-E and a guy from Dreamworks, among others. The Pixar guy gave the best, most informative presentation of all of them and it was like the light bulb came on for me (no pun intended) in so many areas I didn't really understand before. I had a flash of inspiration and thought, I should go down there and talk to him when this is over. Then I thought, I probably won't do it. I'm a relatively shy person and I often have big ideas like this that when confronted with the opportunity, evaporate inside my own fear of looking stupid. And yet when the talk was over, I found myself going down the stairs to the front while everyone else was going up and out the door, and before I knew it I was talking to the guy.
I introduced myself and told him that I wanted to be a lighting TD more than anything. And I thanked him for his presentation because it was the best information I had gotten in or out of school about how they do things in the real world. He seemed to appreciate that, saying he was afraid he had been rambling too much. No way. In fact, he had said that on demo reels they like to see a lot of personal work, and they like to see that you can light something, even if it's in a photo or a painting. I told him that was really encouraging to hear because since I'm not in the industry, personal work is all I have, and I even threw some photos on my site the other day when Keith had mentioned the same thing. I told him that I had a backpack full of reels knowing full well that they represent a work in progress and as a result of his talk, I knew what my next steps had to be. He encouraged me to apply and send in my stuff, and so I offered him my card and he took it, checking to make sure my URL was on there. Given where my work stands right now I don't expect anything beyond that, but it was a small personal triumph. And he was a really nice guy. A lot of people have been talking here about Pixar's "elitist" attitude, how it stinks that they're not taking reels, etc. I didn't get that feeling at all from him. Not at all. As usual, it all depends on who you talk to.
Last night SIGGRAPH had their welcome reception at Dodger Stadium where we got tons of free food and watched the Dodgers play the Phillies. I've never been a baseball fan, in fact I always thought it was slow and boring. But I think after last night I understand it a little better. At least from my point of view, it's less about the game and more about the comradery among audience members. I think we were all bored. And after a while, someone started the wave and it went around three times. That felt like an accomplishment. A ball flew into our stands and someone caught it. During the 7th inning stretch everyone stood up and sang Take Me Out to the Ball Game. And there's a real person there playing a real organ! After a while it was just really cool. I took some shots on my camera phone. Maybe I can find a way to get them off there soon.
But I digress a bit. Because last night at the game I saw someone I hadn't seen in a long time. His name is David and I used to work with him at Multigen until he quit and went to Link in Arlington. As far as I knew he was still there, until Margaret started asking him if he knew people from the lab... this person, that person... I couldn't figure out why she was asking that until I looked at his badge. He's working at ILM and has been for a year and a half! And he gave me his card and said that I should go to their web site and if I see a job I like, let him know because recommendations from employees are taken very seriously over there. Wow. That's definitely on my to do list now. And the interesting thing is, my reel shows more realistic than creative lighting, which is more of an ILM skill than a Pixar skill. I may have more of a Pixar personality but I can do that kind of stuff on my own time. Seriously, who would complain about having to work on Star Wars? Not me.
So despite being a bit down today I have a pretty clear path ahead of me, even if it is a long one. I have a few online applications to make and some changes to my existing reel (basically fixing problems that shouldn't have happened in the first place). I need to do some artistic projects, paintings or otherwise, that show a very creative use of light. Then I need to start on the next project. I don't know what it is yet but I have time to think it through this time. It may be that 617 project I never finished, because I do really like the story. Or it may be something new. I don't know yet. All I know is I'm over the potato. It was a great way to learn Maya again but I can do much better than that. As I see it, I have three hours tomorrow on the plane to figure it out. And then I'm off and running again.
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